Requiem for Susan

Susan wasn't a fish, don't worry.
At this point, she was probably either a crab or a tree.

Moreover

I don't seem to say anything for long periods of time. That makes four reasons. Should I change the name of the blog? All in favor say Aye.

Oh, Look, a Tree,,,

I like trees...

I was on the moon. With Steve! There were no trees on the moon...

I like trees...

1. If you ever hear me say a word in a language you don't know, it's probably an insult. I'm just that kind of guy.

2. I threaten you on a regular basis.

3. I guess threats really are a good reason to pay attention, though... Maybe I'll stop if you leave.

Ti, Tal, Lek

1. Now ask yourself, is this post even titled in words? Do you recognize that as a language? Have you seen it before somewhere? If you answered yes to any of these questions, go to 2. If you answered no to all of them, got to 3. Otherwise, please look up 'yes or no questions' in the nearest resource.

2. As far as I can tell, you're me, or you've met me before. If you only answered yes to the third question, go to 3 now. Now that I'm alone here, I think I'll continue on to three. That's where the party's at.

3. If you came from 1: You haven't met me, or you have but not at the right time/in the right place. If you came from 2: Ha! I knew ou existed. So there.

4. What? Four? There's no four in three reasons! What is this doing here!? Oh, well.

Ein, Zwei, Drei

1) Look over there! A distraction!

2) If you're still reading this, I hate you.

3) Didn't you hear me!? I hate you! Do you want to be in the presence of someone who hates your guts? And, well, you know, the rest of you too, but also the guts.

3.666) Fie on you. Fie I say, Fie!

Ichi, Ni, San

1. I titled it in Japanese, but then I wrote the entire post in English. Or did I? So far, yes. Yes, I did.

2. Watash... HA! You thought I was going to write something in Japanese, didn't you? Well, I proved you wrong. (P.S. Do you really want to read the surface thoughts of a guy who puts you through that kind of prank?)

3. Queue-for-fore-won-dash-five-seven-sicks-to-nein. Anyone who gets that is special. Anyone who knows what it means wins a prize.

Count them: 1, 2, 3.

1. My URL is 'idiotswithships'. How can you trust a guy that not only pronounces URL earl, but also uses 'idiotswithships' for his? Honestly, the nerve of some people.

2. I call myself Jkar. Can you even pronounce that? My sources say no.

3. You might not know this yet, but my favorite quote is "Alas, if I had but one more shoe..." Now does that sound like the kind of thing you want to expose yourself to? I thought not.

And now, in short: ...Well, I guess three reasons is pretty short...

Okay: In slightly shorter: don't pay attention to me because my endless babble will drive you slightly less crazy than I already am.